MUSCLEMANIA XV REPORT

The show kicked off with Girls Aloud doing the honours of singing God Save The Queen much to the delight of the fans in attendance. We then were treated to the full collection of the insane/inspired (depends on your point of view) “musical” adverts for MuscleMania. For those of you who’ve been living under a box for the past six weeks, various IWF superstars have done musical parodies of some famous artists. Some have been funny (PJW hamming it up as Jimmy Somerville), some have been tragic ( ) whilst others have been downright outstanding (Xavier doing his best Freddie Mercury impression). No one has any real idea why the IWF put together these adverts, but I dare say it’s helped with mainstream publicity. The reel ended with Matthew Mercy’s Johnny Cash (given his lead role in Walk The Lane, what else could we end with?) before leading into the traditional “this is our superbowl”, “this is the biggest night of the year” spiel that always gets aired prior to MM.

Warfare World Title Shot Battle Royale ( * * ) – Well card filler this may have been (and/or a way to get those unfortunate enough not to have a real reason for being on the card…well…on the card). Up for grabs was a Unified World Title shot on Wednesday Night Warfare (May 3rd). Still, as it was the opening match the crowd were well up for it, and everybody, and we mean everybody, had a theory as to who was going to win!
ORDER OF ELIMINATION:
1) Ray Gordy (JBL)
2) Chuck Palumbo (Burchill)
3) Edge (Chris Jericho)
4) Monty Brown (Finlay)
5) Colt Cabana (JBL)
6) Matt Hardy (Booker T)
7) Rob Van Dam (CM Punk)
8) Rick Shaw (Simon Starshot)
9) Chris Benoit (Finlay)
10) Finlay (Chris Jericho)
11) Rhino (CM Punk)
12) Burchill (Shelton Benjamin)
13) Booker T (Simon Starshot)
14) Shelton Benjamin (Simon Starshot)
15) CM Punk (JBL)
16) Jeff Jarrett (Chris Jericho)
17) JBL (Simon Starshot)
18) Chris Jericho (Kane)
19) Kane (Simon Starshot)
WINNER = SIMON STARSHOT
In the end it was Simon Starshot who defied all the odds to take the victory and get the opportunity to take on the World Champion, whomever that might turn out to be, on Warfare. The crowd did pop for Starshot’s victory, and his post-match interview with Maria was right on the button too as he talked about being in the IWF for 10 years but never getting an opportunity like this before. In other talking points from the match, Finlay looked surprisingly awesome and both CM Punk and Shelton Benjamin seemed to get good reactions from the crowd. The likes of RVD, Edge, Rhino and Matt Hardy on the other hand may well have spent the rest of the evening reminiscing about the time when they would have been vital selling points on a MuscleMania card…

Alias Storm & Haas Vs America’s Most Wanted ( * * * ) – AMW shocked the world when they turned their back on a contract with the up-start promotion TWA to sign with the IWF, but their decision soon paid off when they defeated Lance Storm & Charles Haas at Breaking Point. However, shenanigans at Corporal Punishment relieved them of the belts and led to Eric Bischoff stating that they had to earn their way back into contention. That they did, but Eric had another twist in the tale, announcing that whichever team lost this match would have to split up for good. A way of heightening the tension or a way of signposting the result of this match? Take your pick.
For what it’s worth the crowd really bought into this match and both teams looked in the mood. The basic story was that Storm and Haas were attempting to use their superior technical abilities to overcome the power and, some would say, agility advantage that (James) Storm and Harris had. And that’s pretty much how it went. S&H managed to isolate James Storm from his partner and go to work on him. Eventually he made the BIG tag and Harris cleaned house. Some nefarious tactics from the tag champs briefly allowed them back into the thick of it, but the challengers rallied and finished (Lance) Storm off with the Death Sentence for the 1-2-3, and their second reign as World Tag Team Champions. The crowd went wild, AMW celebrated and Storm and Haas looked on nonplussed.
A good match, which did what it set out to do. Although given the fact that AMW have only been in the IWF for about 5 months and have already lifted the tag team titles twice, the IWF is going to have to unearth some more serious competition for them from hereon in. Storm and Haas, on the other hand are presumably heading off into singles competition, but it could be a trying time for them over the course of the next few months.

Brock Lesnar Vs The Big Gee ( * * ) – So it was time for the battle of the big men, and although this was hardly the most exciting match ever, it was quite entertaining and packed a lot of high impact moves into the seven minutes it was allotted. The fans haven’t quite taken to Brock since his return at the Robo Rumble, perhaps letting him know his whining and moaning upon leaving the IWF last time hadn’t gone unnoticed, so for once Gee was a clear crowd favourite, with at least 70% of the Wembley Arena crowd behind him.
The build up to this had been steady, if a little unspectacular. Indeed the only burning “issue” was the fact that the two didn’t really like each other and that Gee was sick of Lesnar’s whinging (and highlighting that fact probably lead to the fan’s enmity towards Lesnar rearing its head).
Lesnar won the early power exchanges, but was soon shaken out of his stride by some booming suplexes from Gee. Gee continued to work over Lesnar’s leg with some stiff shots and was able to quickly cut off any attempted comebacks. Finally though Lesnar managed to burst into life and overpower the Gee with some heavy-duty suplexes of his own (including a simply beautiful T-Bone suplex) and put him down with a brutal powerslam. Lesnar circled his prey and waited for Gee to get to his feet in order to hit the F-5 but when he did hit it, it was only enough for a 2 count. Lesnar was shocked and once again circled his prey, but this time when he went for the F-5, Gee blocked the attempt and managed to hit back with a Gee-Bomb of his own. This only garnered a 2 count, but Gee was in the zone, and he hit a second to get the pinfall victory, much to the delight of the crowd.
Gee seemed to get a new lease of life with the fan reaction but whether he would get the same reaction against more favoured wrestlers is open to question. As for Lesnar, his “come-back” has seemingly stalled, but given the acrimonious nature of his previous departure surely no-one can be that surprised.

Shawn Michaels Vs Carlito ( * * * ) – If HBK is seemingly warming down his career at this juncture, Carlito is someone who is said to have a very bright future with the IWF. Some nice vignettes leading up to this match had focussed on this point and it is a testament to both men that the build up to this one has been very entertaining indeed.
Of course, whilst some of you may have thought Carlito had a chance of winning, you would have been in the distinct minority and as such the match didn’t perhaps have the dramatic touch it would otherwise have had. Michaels did a good job of making Carlito look competitive though and Carlito did enjoy his fair share of offence before inevitably falling prey to some Sweet Chin Music for the 1-2-3.
Decent match, and perhaps one day Carlito will look back on this with fondness as the start of his run to the top. As for Michaels…who knows? Rumours are he’s going to phase down his in-ring commitments and this may be a wise thing. After all, what else can the man do?

Phil Jackson & Mick Foley Vs Paul Wardle & Raven (No Holds Barred, * * * * ) – Jackson and Wardle may indeed have been wrestling each other for YEARS, but some handy booking has kept the issues fresh. Raven’s return to the IWF was shocking, but it was even more shocking when The Graduate looked through his address book to call up Mick Foley as his tag team partner for this big MM match. Foley has seen better days of course (as has Raven for that matter) but he did look to have put effort into getting into “fighting shape” for this one and the promise of no holds barred brutality had everyone on the edge of their seats.
The great thing about this was that the obvious chemistry between Raven/Foley and Jackson/Wardle transferred well to this tag team match, and all four men took some brutal punishment in this No Holds Barred encounter. This match had everything you would have expected from an “Insane” style encounter. Stiff chair shots, tables, ladders…and even Barbed Wire!
Highlights of the match included Foley wrapping said Barbed Wire around one of the top ropes and doing his old hangman routine with Raven, and Jackson hit an amazing leg-drop from the top-rope to the arena floor onto Wardle…and oh, yeah, Wardle was out on a table at the time!
You really do have to credit all four men for this one. All “put their bodies on the line” to put together an intense showdown and it was fitting that the two former world champions made sure that their less-established partners were allowed to come across as the stars of the match. In the end, Jackson pinned Wardle after hitting him with an Arabian Face Buster…albeit one delivered from the top of a ladder. The crowd gave all the men a standing ovation, and it was a well-deserved one to say the least.

Dean Roberts Vs Triple H ( * * * ¾ ) – This “MuscleMania rematch” has been slowly building up since Breaking Point, and credit where credit is due, the slow burn tactics have worked. Their previous MM match has been subtly woven into the storyline with HHH claiming he’s improved since then whilst Dean claimed that he’d beaten Triple H then when he wasn’t in the peak condition he is now. Throw in just a few…ok, a hell of a lot of barbed comments and you had yet another match that was eagerly anticipated.
Although both men got huge reactions for their entrances, a somewhat cool crowd marred the opening moments of the match, but that’s understandable given what these two were following. The two kept at it though and slowly built up the tension and the excitement and really drew the crowd in.
In fact, psychologically this may have been the best of the night, it really was that masterful. Dean played the ageing and wounded veteran to perfection and HHH had a blast as the evil opponent hungry to really make a name for himself. Indeed, slowly but surely the fans really rallied behind Dean as HHH took the game to him. He opened up a cut on Dean’s face, which only added to the drama. It really looked as if Dean was down and out but even when Triple H hit a pedigree Dean managed to kick out for the closest of close falls. Dean rallied but he still looked down and out but a low-blow (out of sight of the referee of course) gave him the advantage and after a struggle he hit the scholarship. HHH kicked out of that, but he couldn’t escape after another one and Dean got the hugely popular 1-2-3.
You’d expect something good from these two, and they delivered in spades. An old-school wrestling match with some great psychology that went down very well which in it’s own way made for a nice contrast from the previous match.

Melina Vs Alexis Laree Vs Annalise Roberts ( * * ) – Well they were never going to really follow that, especially given that this was one of the few matches of the evening with no real back-story. Basically Melina and Alexis hate each other, and…well we have no real idea as to why Annalise was added to the mix other than the fact that she probably just about remains the best wrestler in the women’s division.
This was decent enough fair, but was never anything other than card filler. The home straight was impressive though as all three women traded high-impact moves and counters, and in the end, Laree pinned Melina to lift the belt.
All this really proved is that whilst these may be three of the finest women wrestlers ever seen in the IWF, without a back story of any significance they are never likely to be able to ignite the crowd.

Chris Kanyon Vs Jay Reso ( * * * * ) – If ever there was a night that both men had to put on a performance , this was it. Kanyon’s homosexuality has finally become public knowledge, and although it has to be said that Kanyon divulged his sexual preferences willingly it is clear that some fans don’t know what to think of him anymore. Which is a shame (and will probably lead to a heel turn before too long). Reso, on the other hand, had been growing in popularity (in a heel sense, if you catch our drift) for a good while and finally had the chance to prove he could be a genuine headline talent. Thankfully, on both scores, this match delivered…and then some!
Kanyon started off like a house on fire and really took the battle to Reso but some underhanded tactics by Jay led to him gaining control of the match. Reso kept control and the fans (well the majority of them anyways) were egging Kanyon on hoping that he could get back in the match. It looked like he had done when he hit the Kanyon Kutter from out of nowhere, but in the process the referee also took a tumble and so wasn’t there to count the subsequent pinfall attempt. From out of nowhere however Reso hit a low blow and then managed to hit the Unprettier on Kanyon. The referee slowly made his way over but by the time he made the count, Kanyon managed to kick out. However Reso hit the move again and got the pinfall victory, much to the amazement of the crowd.
A great match which saw great performances from both men AND the right result. Who could really ask for more?

Matthew Mercy & PJ Love Vs MNM ( * * * ) – Well despite some ugly rumours there was no sign of the Spice Girls at ringside. There was an absolutely priceless “confrontation” between PJ & Mercy and Dean Roberts & The Big Gee backstage as Mercy & PJ were making their way to the Gorilla position. Although this was never likely to be anymore than comedy, it was still an important night for all concerned. PJW may only have come back in the short-term, but he had a few things to prove in respect of his status in the business. Mercy may be back part-time, he may have only done this as a one-off but he surely needed to prove he could still go in the ring. MNM also had a big opportunity to cement themselves as upper-card heels (come on, surely no-one seriously sees top-line singles runs in their future) and prove that their entertaining act could move up a level.
But surely the most surprising outcome of all was that for the second match running it was the “underdogs” that won the match. That’s right…the end came when Johnny Nitro pinned PJ Love, 1-2-3, clean in the middle of the ring. So ok, it wasn’t Mercy who took the fall (come on, seriously, did anyone think THAT would happen?) but the result will do MNM the world of good.
So all in all this was a very entertaining match-up which can surely have left no one unfulfilled. And given that it appears like PJ’s run has come to an end with this match and that Mercy is rumoured to be not wresting any more dates in 2006 we got the right result too.

Xavier Vs Hulk Hogan ( * * * ½ ) – Out of all the matches on the card this has universally been seen as the one with the best build up. Be it Xavier dismantling Lance “Hulk Hogan” Cade, or Xavier’s stalking of Hulk’s daughter Brooke or the absolutely off the chart reaction when Hogan finally returned to Warfare to accept Xavier’s challenge, this has been outstanding. The only real question was what the match itself would turn out to be…and to a lot of people’s surprise it turned out to be something pretty damn special, and very shocking.
It all started off straight enough. Xavier made his entrance and was booed out of the building, and the reaction to Hulk Hogan was off the charts. The building boomed and reverberated to chants of “Hogan, Hogan”.
However as the match continued the damndest thing started to happen. Every time Xavier went on the offensive he started to get more and more cheers and when he trash-talked about Brooke Hogan and what he’d like to do to Hogan’s wife, the fans were going wild. Hogan looked completely shocked and although the match continued on a professional level you could see that both men were shocked at what was happening. Thankfully as both were pro’s the managed to adapt the match as such, and such was their efforts that by the time Xavier was busted wide open, the fans were baying for Hogan’s blood. Indeed the place almost erupted when Xavier hit the Xav-Attack, and nearly rioted when Hogan kicked out. And indeed they were at near fever pitch when Hogan actually slapped Xavier's valet Vicky right in the face after she'd attempted to get at Hogan!
In the end though it was Hogan who took the win after he hulked-up, much to the disgust of the crowd we might add, and hit the big-boot and the legdrop combination. Hogan really revelled in being a heel again, and after he had gone the crowd gave Xavier a standing ovation.
A strange turn of events, but what an atmosphere. The only drawback is the rumours that neither man will be making any appearances for the IWF any time soon, although only time will tell on that story.

Matt Morgan Vs Randy Orton Vs Kurt Angle ( * * * * ) – So it was main event time. And it was a main event with genuine confusion as to who would walk out the winner. Which can only be a good thing. Fought under “first pinfall” wins rules, this was slightly hampered by the usual breaking up of pinfalls that you constantly get in these matches but the supreme effort put forward by all three men more than made up for it. We also got a special treat before the match, as Christy Hemme was introduced (in her IWF debut) as the Special guest ring announcer. What point that had is debatable, but you have to say she looked HOT, and displayed more charisma than any number of bimbo's we've seen in the past.
As for the match itself, Angle was his usual superb self but Morgan and Orton did more than enough to keep up their end of the bargain with superb performances themselves.
Morgan’s power took the advantage early on, but Angle soon got back into the thick of things by using his superior technical skills. However Orton hung in their as well and it really did seem like a case of any one of the three being able to win the thing.
The fans were 100% behind Angle in his quest to once again lift the Unified World Triple Crown title, but ultimately they were to be disappointed. In a hot closing sequence it looked like Angle would take it as he knocked Orton out with an Angle Slam and then turned his attention to Morgan. As he had Morgan in the Angle Lock however, Orton rallied and just managed to break up the hold before Morgan looked like he was about to tap. Orton threw Angle over the top rope and then circled around Morgan. Morgan got gingerly to his feet, with his ankle still in great pain, and an RKO later made the pinfall attempt, which just reached three before Angle could get back in the ring and break it up. The fans were stunned, and Orton revelled in his ascension to the top of the IWF. The show faded to black as Orton lifted the World title high in the air.

This may not have been the greatest MuscleMania of all time, but it certainly was a very good one. There was no out and out stinkers on show and there was a great deal of quality entertainment on display. Perhaps the only thing that kept it from being a real Grade A show was the lack of an absolute show-stopping match, but when you get matches of the quality of Angle/Orton/Morgan, Reso/Kanyon and Dean/HHH (not to mention the extremely entertaining Xav/Hogan match and the brutal Wardle & Raven/Jackson & Foley encounter) who could complain?