INTERNATIONAL WRESTLING FEDERATION: April 2007

Well it was finally that time of year again. The time for the International Wrestling Federation’s biggest event, MuscleMania. The build up has been exciting (the IWF has really heated up since the change of booking squad back in December) and anticipation was running high.

The show kicked off with the “IWF’s favourite band in the whole world” Girls Aloud singing the National Anthem, God Save The Queen. Bloody lovely it was too.

Then it was onto the pre-game video package; as one might expect this was excellent stuff indeed. The really big names (Mercy, Dean, Tripper et. al.) spoke about MuscleMania defining their careers whilst the young up and coming studs (CM Punk, Elijah Burke, Barabus Lashley et. al.) spoke about this being their chance to make an impact in the spotlight. Perhaps unsurprisingly they didn’t have either Wardle or Jackson expressing their shock at actually being booked on the show, nor did they have the Cruiserweights asking why they weren’t on the card. But in all seriousness, this was goose-bump stuff.

Although really, is anyone any the wiser as to why Standing In The Way Of Control by Gossip was chosen as this year’s theme tune? Mind you it could have been worse. Beth Ditto could have turned up to sing it!
The atmosphere was white-hot as we went to the MEN arena and commentators for the evening George Minister and JBL (who lets face it is a hundred times better as a colour commentator than he ever was as a wrestler) welcomed us.

CM Punk Vs Abyss ( * * * )

So we kicked things off with this battle over the United Kingdom Title, the champion Punk accompanied by his main squeeze Maria (and now he’s back as a babyface, please disregard the fact that he stole her off his best mate Colt Cabana) whilst the rather less delightful Father James Mitchell accompanied the challenger Abyss. This being the opener the crowd was rocking and both men put their best foot forward and put on quite the entertaining little tussle.
Punk controlled the early going but Abyss’ superior power meant that he soon gained the upper hand. The two traded hot moves back and forth until some timely interference by Mitchell left his charge completely in control. Abyss seemed sure to get the win but, in a move right out of the 1980’s wrestling manual, Maria decided that she’d try and distract the monster. She distracted me, I’ll say that much. At first Abyss looked like he was going to try and kiss her, but then he grabbed her and set her up for a choke slam. However, Maria hit him with a low blow, and Punk got behind Abyss and rolled him up for the 1-2-3, and the pinfall victory that retained him his United Kingdom Title.
A great little opener which did exactly what every PPV opener should do; with a little more time, and a slightly less camp ending, this might have been even better, but on a night when stars can be made, both men should be happy with their performances. Punk surprised some by retaining the title, but it’s actually the loss for Abyss that might suggest he’s onto bigger things in the short-term (his post MM scene is a lot more potentially varied without carrying the UK title).

Backstage we could see Phil Jackson warming up, doing some stretches when he was approached by his, reluctant, tag team partner Paul Wardle. Wardle said he’d got a surprise and that he’d sought the help of a “manager” to give them some pointers for the evening…and at that point he introduced Chelsea manager Jose Mourhinho. Of course Jose got booed (we are in Manchester after all) but he spouted some words of wisdom and told Jackson & Wardle that they could win the tag team titles tonight. The trio then went off for a “team discussion”!

Kane Vs Umaga Vs Samoa Joe (Hardcore Rules, * * * )

Well, as the story goes, a ring couldn’t contain these guys over the past few months, let it all hang out in a Falls Count Anywhere Hardcore rules match. And it was brutal. The only thing that really hurt the match, in a funny sense, is that all three men are portrayed as monsters and at times the match was crying out for a bump machine to take some crazy dives (an “in his prime” Cactus Jack for example would have been in his element here).
You certainly can’t question the work ethic of any of the three men though. They went through some pain; hell, Umaga went through a plate-glass window! Of course there was little technical excellence on show (really Joe was wasted in this environment to some extent) but taken for what it was, this was an enjoyable brawl that at least had the sense to stay relatively short and throw in enough big bumps to keep everyone entertained.
In the end it was Kane who retained (the second match in a row where a champion, to some extents, surprisingly retained his belt) by finishing off Umaga with a Tombstone onto to some wooden pallets! An entertaining match, although not one that you can see being a defining moment in any of their careers. Still they made the most of the situation, and certainly didn’t bore anyone. So job well done.

At this point we were taken to an “executive box” in the MEN where backstage interviewer Leticia Cline was waiting to introduce us to the newest IWF signing, Mohammed Fakir. (He of the “My Egyptian Lover” vignettes that have aired over the past few weeks on Warfare and Impact). Fakir was blinged up to the nines as ever, and surrounded by his harem of lovely ladies AND his “personal bodyguard” Justice Porter. Fakir was quite jovial but when Cline attempted to speak to Porter, Fakir warned her that his bodyguard was a dangerous man who had done time for armed robbery. (Amazingly, this is true, and one can only imagine the IWF are mentioning it now to stave off any problems over this “revelation” in the future). Cline took the hint and left the Egyptian “playa” and his bodyguard to their own devices.

Backstage skit time, and we were with Girls Aloud member Cheryl. She walking about, looking lovely as they do, when Cheryl Cole bumped into Xavier. The two had a quick discussion about his upcoming match (Cheryl expressing a wish that Xavier “do” Burke) and then they shared a hug, which certainly put a smile on the young man’s face.

Xavier Vs Elijah Burke ( * * * * ¼ )

This has been brewing for a couple of months now and has both highlighted that Burke is seen a future headliner by the IWF management and that they are right to place a lot of faith in him. His cause has been in no way harmed by the fact that he’s been feuding with one of the best in the game, Xavier. The two have been dynamite on the microphone leading up to this one and the intrigue surrounding the masked man added another layer of anticipation to the match.
Even Xavier’s recent hand injury didn’t slow down the build-up as Xav worked through the pain, with a cast on his hand, although Burke made sure that Xavier didn’t wear a hard-cast for this match (even going so far as to petition IWF Commissioner Eric Bischoff to ensure “fair-play”).
The fans were very vocal at the start of this one, both in their support for Xavier and their hatred for Elijah. Burke started off all cocky but soon got the smile slapped off his face, quite literally as Xavier unleashed a flurry of blows at his opponent. Burke sidled to ringside for a time-out but Xavier followed him and continued the onslaught. As the action got back in the ring Burke took control and the rest of the match remained a back and forth effort with neither man taking too much control of the match for any long period.
Burke went to work on Xavier’s injured hand but Xavier rallied and although Burke managed to wriggle out of it, an attempted Xav-Attack seemed to suggest that the momentum was with Xavi. However in the melee the referee took a tumble and when Xavier actually hit the Xav-Attack there was no-one there to count the pinfall. And wouldn’t you know it, this was the cue for the mysterious masked man to make his way to ringside…except that he was wearing a referee’s shirt. He slid into the ring and started to make the pinfall count but stopped at two and stood up.
Xavier was nonplussed but before he could place his hands on the referee he was caught by Burke who hit him with the Elijah Express. As our masked man left the ring the original referee came to and saw Burke covering the prone Xavi and made the three count which made Elijah Burke the winner.
After this the masked man confronted Xavier, as Burke held him, and took of his mask to reveal…CHRIS JERICHO!!!! Xavier looked shocked but then Burke & Jericho attacked Xavier and looked for all the world as if they were trying to break his injured arm. Eventually backstage officials stormed the ring and stopped the melee. Xavier was helped to the back as Burke & Jericho celebrated.
A great great match, and one which cemented Burke’s status as one to watch. The return of Jericho was both a surprise and very deftly carried out. Burke and Jericho have the look of quite a double act and although we suspect Xavier might be on the sidelines for a short while, he’s a ready made dispute for his return. Thumbs up all around.

Sting Vs Rhino ( * * ¾ )

Well Sting’s six-month (or thereabouts) contract is up and there’s no sign of him signing a new deal. How much of a success his short-run has been is open to question; many think that given the fact he beat Matthew Mercy in his debut he’s not done an awful lot to suggest he deserved to get the nod there. So would this, seemingly his last night in the IWF, be the night when he would “do the right thing?” Well, as it turned out, yes and no. No, as in it wasn’t Sting’s shoulders that went down for the three count (erm, actually no-one’s did) but yes in as much as that Mr Borden did enough to make Rhino look like some kind of star.
It wasn’t a great match, and to be honest no-one really thinks that Sting is in the position to have great matches anymore, but it was a competitive one and did go some lengths towards trying to repair Rhino’s battered reputation.
It was the ending sequence that really did it. Both men were bleeding to buggery, yes, even Sting, and fans sensed the ending when Rhino seemed to be stalking his prey for the Gore. However Sting evaded it, Rhino hit the ring post and the Sting locked on the Scorpion Deathlock. Rhino wouldn’t quit though, despite Sting synching on the hold, and in the end it was only when Rhino passed out that the referee called for the bell for win by technical knockout. JBL shilled Rhino as if his life depended on it and the fans cheering for Sting’s victory was almost surpassed by the cheers that Rhino got when he finally made it back into the land of the living. Sting even stayed on to shake his hand and the two shared a manly hug as they walked off.
It may not have been the “putting over” that Rhino may have hoped for, but the match certainly went to some lengths to protect him. Sting, it seems, is gone so perhaps the result was the wrong one, but few would begrudge Sting a last moment of glory, just like few would begrudge Rhino getting some glory as a result of this match.

We then went backstage to see the lovely Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud. She was talking to none-other than the Big Gee’s girlfriend Riley Mason. They seemed to be getting along quite well when none other than the Gee himself walked around the corner and to be honest it looked as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. His cheeky grin said it all.

Matthew Mercy Vs Finlay ( * * * * )

In the years to come if you look up “stiff” in the interactive Wrestling Dictionary then they will show you a recording of this match. This may well have been the most brutal one-on-one encounter ever seen on IWF programming. It’s not that they went the “insane” route, its just that for nearly 20 minutes they knocked seven bells of crap out of each other with all manner of positively evil looking punches, kicks, suplexes and the like.
The fans lapped this up as well, proving that the booking of Finlay leading up to this match has been superb; be honest, would you have seen this as an “equal” match-up even as little as four months ago?
Neither man held anything back and both men’s chests were red-raw from the brutal exchange of chops and both men bled buckets of claret, which made for an awesome spectacle as well. This was Mercy’s most intense display in quite some time (probably since “retiring” Dean Roberts last June and in Finlay he had just the right opponent.
The end was positively shocking as well. Mercy went for a Mercy-Bomb but Finlay blocked it and reversed it into a Tombstone Piledriver. Mercy kicked out at 2 but he had no chance once Finlay hit the Celtic Cross. The fans couldn’t believe it as Finlay got the three-count, and neither could we. It was Mercy’s second CLEAN j-o-b in four months after all (his loss to Sting at Breaking Point was the other) but it was proof positive that a loss doesn’t have to trouble anyone.
Finlay of course came across as a genuine superstar in this match but Mercy laid to rest any doubts that he doesn’t have “it” anymore with a superb display. The standing ovation Mercy got showed that the fans saw that too.
This was quite simply a must-see match. Mercy will no doubt disappear for a good few months now to film his next film (a big budget remake of The Birds also starring Lindsay Lohan and Anne Hathaway) but when he does come back the momentum of this match will still carry him. As for Finlay, he’s on a roll and the sky could well be his limit here.

At this point it was time for the Hall Of Fame Class of 2007 to make their appearances, and wave to the crowd. They were all there; Kevin Nash, Mick Foley, Terry Funk, Lance Storm & J-Lo, whilst Owen Hart was represented by Martha Hart and The Public Enemy were represented by their family. There was no sign of a drunk Scott Hall, although there was a brief glimpse of Harry Smith, Teddy Hart, TJ Wilson and Nattie Neidhart, who were part of the induction of their family member Owen Hart the previous night at the Hall Of Fame ceremony. So yes, it is clear; they WILL be debuting soon here in the IWF.

America’s Most Wanted Vs Paul Wardle & Phil Jackson ( * * * )

Will the Wardle & Jackson feud ever end? Probably not if we’re being honest. But you have to admit the certain chemistry between the two and forcing them to team was a pretty clever trick in putting another spin on things (and is infinitely better than another dream tag team partner scenario would ever have been).
The build up has obviously centred around the mutual hatred that the challengers have for each other but there has been some subtle twists; Storm and Harris were initially very confident at facing the dysfunctional challengers, but as Wardle & Jackson have cooled, somewhat, over the past few weeks, there had been signs that AMW were slowly beginning to realise that they might have a threat on their hands. This feeling was intensified with the whole Jose Mourhinho thing (who, perhaps wisely given our location, watched from the locker rooms).
Wardle and Jackson started off like a house on fire but neither wanted to particularly tag in their partner in the early going, eager to outshine each other. Of course when AMW were in the ascendancy both were eager to tag out as quickly as they could. Thankfully as the match wore on the challengers actually wrestled like a proper team, and the results were reasonably impressive.
Still it looked as if AMW’s superior experience as a team would be enough to seal them the victory, but they reckoned without the resiliency of the challengers and in the end it was the challengers who got the win, as Wardle finished off James Storm with the Phenom-Press at roughly the same time as Jackson finished off Chris Harris with The Graduate. The fans actually popped huge for the finish and whilst the new champions didn’t exactly hug each other with delight, they did a very manly handshake and left up the rampway together, albeit very cautiously making sure that neither man went and tried anything funny.
Some may see it as a sad indictment of the tag team roster that there were no real tag-teams that could challenge AMW on the biggest show of the year, but what transpired was both a good match and one that leaves us with plenty of new avenues to travel down in the upcoming months. Now, all we need is some new full-time tag teams.

After that match the new champions were met backstage by their manager for the evening Jose Mourhinho who congratulated them and cracked open the champagne. It can be surreal at times being a wrestling fan.

Then it was time for more Girls Aloud action and this time it was Nadine walking around. She bumped into fellow Irish superstar Finlay who looked very leery indeed. It seemed as if things were taking an unpleasant turn but then a leprechaun appeared from out of nowhere and jumped up at Nadine. Finlay wasn’t best pleased, and it seemed as if he knew this little imp. He dragged him off as Nadine looked on in horror.

Triple H Vs Barabus Lashley ( * * ¾ )

Another intriguing match in prospect here. Triple H is a superstar, no question; Lashley, on the other hand, is distinctly mid-card but this was a night when potential stars were really being given a chance to shine. Lashley is green, for sure, but he has the look and, aside from those couple of weeks back in March when someone thought it would be a good idea to give him interview time, the IWF have been content to build him up slowly and play to his strengths.
Triple H played his part here as well. He did enough back-peddling to put over Lashley as a threat and carried him to a decent match in the process. It was obvious that HHH was carrying the match but Lashley did what he was supposed to, when he was supposed to do and didn’t mess anything up.
Of course there was never any real doubt that HHH would go over in the end and this hurt the crowd a tad, and in the end HHH went over with the Pedigree.
A decent match which did all it was supposed to. Triple H got a win on the big stage, which helps set him up for some big money programmes in the near future, Lashley got the experience of the big stage and another notch on his learning curve and all this was surrounded by a decent match.

Dean Roberts Vs Edge (Unsanctioned, * * * * )

It’s a mark of the respect that IWF fans have for “The Icon” that Dean Roberts’ return to the ring after losing a “retirement” match back at Heat Wave hasn’t been surrounded with the kind of feelings that would sometimes surround such an occurrence. In fairness to the Dean though, it was six months after his retirement before he even appeared on IFW television again and a further four months before stepping back into the ring for this “unsanctioned” match (the gist being that this was the loophole that allowed IWF Commissioner Eric Bischoff to stage the match).
The storyline has been a classic (as was the pre-match video package set to the tune of Good Charlotte’s Keep Your Hands Off My Girl); from Annalise filing for divorce from Dean on Boxing Day, to the Edge-Annalise affair becoming public knowledge, to the ultra-memorable contract signing at Shoot Out this has been thrilling stuff. As was evidenced by the fact that Edge (accompanied by Annalise Anderson of course) got more heat on his way to the ring than he ever has before. The fact that the roof nearly blew off the MEN arena when Dean made his entrance proved that we were witnessing something very special indeed.
The match started off at a fast pace with neither man showing much inclination to actual wrestle; this was an all out war with both men reigning in the blows to each other as the crowd ate it all up. As this was an unsanctioned match it was fought under No Disqualification/Falls Count Anywhere rules and as such the two treated that as an excuse to battle all over the place, up the rampway and into the crowd. As you would also expect in a match like this we were treated to some pretty special “big” bumps in the process as well.
Particular highlights were Dean Roberts dropping an elbow from the top of the rampway onto Edge, (the drop must have been 15 feet) and Edge Spearing Dean through the MuscleMania backdrop. Indeed both men suffered for their art here.
In the end things got back into the ring for the big finish, although not before Annalise had attempted to scramble Dean’s brains with a positively wicked series of chair shots. What was particularly surprising about this was that this brought out Alexis Laree (this probably will get explained at a later date so it looks as if Dean will be around in some capacity at least after MM) who took Annalise out and the two brawled backstage, never to be seen again. This left the two men in the ring and it looked all over for Dean when Edge hit ANOTHER spear, this time through a table, but Dean kicked out at the very last milli-second much to the delight of the crowd. The end really came when Edge went to the top rope but Dean recovered and caught him up there and hit a TOP-ROPE Scholarship for the 1-2-3. The crowd went absolutely mental, and there was a definite sense that as well as celebrating Dean’s victory they were also showing appreciation for Edge’s effort as well.
A fantastic match which both gave the fans what they wanted (a great display and a victory for Dean) and give the lesser man (Edge) a boost; even in a losing effort Edge looked better than he’s ever done in the IWF. Mission accomplished all-round.

Girls Aloud time backstage again, and this time it was the lovely Kimberley on walkabout duty. She had the misfortune to run into Randy Orton, who certainly lived down to his reputation by attempting to “chat-up” Miss Walsh. All he got for his troubles was a slap across the face.

Rebecca Knox Vs Christy Hemme ( * ¾ )

How the women were supposed to follow that we don’t know. Although in truth that was probably the point. The two actually showed great chemistry in the run up to this big match and whilst no-one is suggesting that this was a huge selling point on the card, the IWF bookers, and the women themselves, did a nice job of making this match mean something.
Granted the end result wasn’t exactly Mercy/Dean, but neither was it Skinner/Hogan. Knox showed that her years of travelling the globe have made her into a very versatile wrestler indeed, whilst Hemme showed that she’s more than just T’n’A (although, lets face it she IS hot) and can actually get in there and make a good impression.
The match was kept short but it was action packed, with the two women trading blows and some smart moves that left even JBL (momentarily) impressed. At the fans were 100% behind Hemme too, but she couldn’t quite get the job done as Knox blocked a “Red-Head” attempt to hit back with a “Knox-Out” (which sounds cheesy but is actually a pretty stiff looking sitout-suplex slam) which was so impressive that some of the fans couldn’t help but pop for it.
Knox celebrated an impressive victory and if the rumours of the new booking squad paying more attention to the women’s division really are true, this could be the start of something beautiful. Of course in the overall scheme of things, no-one will remember this match, but for it’s position on the card it was more than adequate.

The Big Gee Vs Randy Orton ( * * * ¼ )

Some might say this was surprisingly high up the card but the build up to this one has been another winner, and its clear that whilst Orton may have lost his world title he is still high up in the booker’s thoughts. Gee, well, Gee proved once again that few can carry soap-opera style storylines as well as he can (witness how accomplished he’s been during the whole scenario with his girlfriend Riley Mason being chased by Orton) and that he’s no slouch when it comes to high profile matches either.
Granted this wasn’t the most fast paced match of the evening, but it did carry an effective story and both men should be commended for that. And credit where credit is due, Riley Mason may be pretty useless most of the time, but she managed to convincingly portray the role of the woman who seemed both repulsed with Randy Orton and rather taken by his advances.
The match itself was a back and forth affair, with near falls aplenty that got the crowd popping like a bowl of Rice Krispies. Of course you just knew that Riley Mason would have to be involved in the ending, and boy was she involved. And to the surprise of very few, her low blow on her boyfriend The Big Gee was instrumental on allowing Orton to set up for the R-K-O and the pinfall victory. What was surprising was that after Mason and Orton had shared a particularly sloppy kiss Orton did the nasty on her, hitting her with an RKO for good measure. The dastardly swine. Gee, for his part, didn’t know what the hell to do once he’d recovered from the RKO and he just left the ring as paramedics hauled Mason onto a stretcher.
A good match, with an ending that was half expected and half completely out of the blue. Orton cemented his standing as the man the IWF love to hate, Gee showed that he still has a lot to offer and Mason played her role to perfection as well.

Time for the final Girls Aloud skit of the evening, and, yes, it was with Nicola. And it just had to be Dean Roberts didn’t it. Backstage reporter Leticia Cline was trying to ask Dean questions about Edge, Annalise and Alexis Laree but Dean seemed more concerned with his namesake Nicola, beckoning her over with the words “you’ve always been my favourite.” And even though Dean was bandaged up after his tough battle earlier in the evening, Nicola still agreed to accompany him to “the nearest bar.” But lets face it, even though it was the Dean at his smarmy best she had a better evening than some of her colleagues!

Jay Reso Vs Matt Morgan ( * * * )

So it was time for the main event. And it’s been easy to suggest over the past few months that this was never going to be the match that “everybody came to see” but you can at least admit that this has slowly built into a genuine “issue” that at least had the crowd looking forward to it.
Reso looked at ease on the “grandest stage of them all” whilst Morgan was here 12 months ago, defending his title as a heel. Now he was challenging as a face. And the fans were certainly behind him. Indeed the only thing that really hurt the match was that no-one ever really believed that Reso would stop Morgan’s challenge. In fact if one was being unkind you could say that Morgan is no Mercy and Reso is no Dean…but despite all that this was an enjoyable match and one that, TWA-T take note, was bereft of any screwiness or any extra curricular activity. In fact in some respects it was exactly how a “wrestling” show should end.
Morgan’s power gained him the early advantage and Reso was sent sprawling, but the champ’s superior technical skills saw him gain back some of the momentum. It wasn’t to last for all that long though as the booking squad made sense of the fact that the fans don’t want to see Morgan on the defensive for aeons and there were a couple of occasions where Morgan temporarily regained the control of the match before Reso dug deep to force his way back on top.
In the end though it wasn’t enough. Morgan kicked out of, not one but two, Unprettier’s, much to the delight of the crowd, and hit back with his own finishing move, The Morgasm, for the 1-2-3 and to lift the Unified World Heavyweight Crown.
A good, crowd-pleasing, match and one which whilst not coming close to stealing the show was enjoyed by all and gave everyone the result that they wanted.

So MuscleMania is in the bag for another year. And this must go down as one of the best “across the board” events of the lot. From start to finish the card was jam-packed with issues and matches that meant something to the fans and this meant that even when the action levels dipped slightly, the crowd were still into what they saw.
There were a number of “match of the night” candidates, although it was the UK trio of Matthew Mercy, Dean Roberts and Xavier whose matches were the absolute pick of the bunch and all three were vastly different styles of bouts to boot. What was particularly impressive as well was that Finlay, Edge and Elijah Burke all came out of those bouts with momentum too.
The title matches were all entertaining as well, with championship victories going down for Matt Morgan (Unified Title) and Paul Wardle & Phil Jackson (World Tag Team Titles) in well received matches.
Really though there wasn’t any particular “down” moments in the entire evening and it’s difficult to think of anyone who would have felt short-changed by the card as a whole. THE IWF have been promising that 2007 will be one of it’s best ever years…on this evidence they may well be right!

INTERNATIONAL WRESTLING FEDERATION

Sunday, April 29, 2007

MuscleMania XVI Review

Sunday, April 01, 2007

2007 Hall Of Fame Entrants

Blog Archive

Links

About Me